The Millers

 

TAWNY—and her husband Christopher both served in the Marine Corps. As Marines, they often heard that being a Marine was the hardest job they would ever have. Tawny believed that. Until her son Jack was two and they confronted the reality of raising a non-verbal autistic child.

Like most parents in their situation, they knew little about autism when Jack was born, and had to become educated about the challenges they would face. They learned that no two autistic children are the same, and that there were no cookbook recipes for raising their son. They also came to understand that autism was not something that could be “fixed,” but that it could be managed. Tawny did not consider herself to be a patient person, but she had to learn to become patient.

In steering the way through the maze they encountered they have been helped for the last four years by the Valley Youth House team of Therapeutic Staff Support and Case Manager Barb Brown and Behavior Specialist Consultant Josie Ferriera-Garcia. With the help of the Valley Youth House team the Millers began an applied behavioral analysis program, helping Jack learn fine motor skills and social skills that were not easily developed. He is also learning receptive and expressive language skills and anger management through behavior modification so when Jack is unable to communicate, he doesn’t resort to hurting himself or others.

Repetitive learning exercises helped Jack learn skills like waving good-bye or pulling up his pants. “These skills are not a big deal to most kids,” says Tawny, “but they are a big deal to him.”

Tawny appreciates the patience of Barb and Josi, and the fact they are willing to continually search for answers to difficult problems. They are always willing to take the time to search for the answer to the question “What is best for Jack.”

The Millers have also found that parents of autistic children must be advocates for their child, and Valley Youth House has been an important resource in helping them be more effective advocates for Jack. Every day is Autism Awareness Day for Tawny and Christopher.

Tawny’s hopes for her son include that Jack will be happy and at peace. She hopes that someday he will speak to her. And she will continue the patient work of helping him grow and learn a little bit more each day.

FATMATA

Ten year old Fatmata woke up every day not sure if she would live or die. She had been kidnapped by members of the Revolutionary United Front, a rebel group during the civil war in Sierra Leone when the rebels entered the capital city of Freeport, and was now used as a domestic slave, cooking and cleaning for the rebels. She knew that if she did not do what she was told she would be killed. She had seen it happen. In some respects she was lucky. Older girls were raped, but because she was young, and because a rebel from her ethnic group protected her she avoided the worst.

Fatmata had essentially been a refugee all her life. Her family was ethnically Guinean, and when the civil war started when she was just a baby her family fled to that country. But those fleeing the Sierra Leone Civil War were not welcome there and were forced back into Sierra Leone. They sought refuge in Freeport, where they lived for several years before the RUF stormed the city, and Fatmata fell into the rebel’s hands. The ten-year Sierra Leone Civil War was particularly brutal. Both sides resorted to rape, hacking off limbs, and torture. Fatmata saw the worst.

The rebel who had befriended her allowed her, along with an older woman to escape, and they walked across Sierra Leone into Guinea. Her family had by then fled to Guinea, and thought Fatmata dead. But through a stroke of fortune they were reunited in Guinea and eventually were able to emigrate to the United States and to Allentown. There Fatmata, now twelve, entered the seventh grade in the Allentown schools. School was not easy since she spoke little English, and had never attended school. Nonetheless through hard work she was able to graduate from William Allen six years later.

Life in the U.S. was chaotic, and she left the family home to live with an aunt. When the aunt moved to Reading she was left homeless, and a school counselor referred her to Valley Youth House, where she entered the Transitional Living Program. There she received shelter, life skills education, help with her English, and therapy to help her work through the lingering effects of the trauma she had suffered.

Fatmata finished high school while living at Valley Youth House and entered Northampton Community College. There she is taking the requirement courses for a nursing education and working in the Northampton cafeteria. She has a burning determination to become a nurse. She says that she has seen so much suffering that she wants to do all she can to help those in need of relief from pain. Fatmata says, “Valley Youth House helped me find myself, they meant everything.”

Fatmata has had a long and difficult road, and achieving her ambitions will not be easy, but none of the staff at Valley Youth House who has worked with her doubt that she will be able to reach her goals.

 

DAVID

knew there was trouble when there was no money for food. 15-year old David asked his mother what the problem was, but her answers were evasive. In time the truth became clear: His mother was spending the family’s money on drugs. Angry, he confronted her, and after the resulting blow-up left the home. David tried to live with other family members, but that did not work out. He eventually resorted to “couch surfing,” moving from one home to another, wherever he could find a place to sleep, and showering at his school.

Eventually a teacher overheard the homeless youth discussing his plight with a friend, and realized that David needed help. David was referred to the Valley Youth House Lehigh Valley Shelter, where he lived for several months. He came to the Shelter, he admits now, a shy but angry young man. But he now had a safe place to stay, and the support of the Valley Youth House counselors, who worked with him on managing his feelings, and helping him learn the skills he would need to live on his own.

After an extended stay at the Shelter, David moved into an Independent Living Program. In addition to stable housing and an allowance for necessities, David continued to receive counseling and help with developing life skills. He worked part time at Wegman’s and attended Freedom High School. David’s Independent Living Apartment was in the area served by Liberty, but it was thought best that he remain in the same school. As a result he would catch a bus from near the Shelter to Freedom each morning.

David did well at Freedom academically, and was accepted at Moravian College. At Moravian he has flourished. He is now completing his senior year as a Psychology major. He will graduate this spring and continue his education next year at Lehigh, pursuing a masters. While at Moravian he has worked as a Resident Advisor, and has been assisting Dr. Dana Dunn with research on a new book on social psychology. This spring he is also doing an internship at the Lehigh Valley Shelter, where he feels he is particularly well positioned to provide counsel to the youth that come to the Shelter.

Completing his education has not been a cakewalk. He continues to work at Wegman’s, a still faces the issue of finding a place to live when the school’s dormitories are closed. Fortunately, friends have given him a place to say. His mother has now completed rehabilitation, and mother and son have begun a process of reconciliation of their relationship.

David’s achievements in the face of daunting odds are remarkable. As he looks back, he can reflect on how far he has come and what he has accomplished. As he looks forward to a future as a research psychologist, he also reflects on the progress he has made as a person, from a withdrawn and angry youth to a mature and outgoing adult. All of us at Valley Youth House are proud on this remarkable young man.

 

Jennifer

Jennifer ever thought that she would find herself living in a homeless shelter, but then her marriage of ten years fell apart.  As a single mom, she found herself unable to deal with the stresses of marital discord and raising two children with ADHD diagnosis.  

 

Jen admits that she “fell flat on her face” in dealing with the situation and a downward spiral began. She became unemployed, and eventually lost her home.  Jen and the children tried living with family members, but that didn’t work out, and with no place else to go the family became residents of the Third Street Alliance for Women and Children shelter in early 2008.  By summer she had learned of Valley Youth House’s Supportive Housing Program for Homeless Families.  The program offers rent subsidies to participants, counseling in budgeting, and the development of skills that families need to avoid a return to the street.  To be accepted in the program, participants must be employed, and Jen met that requirement when she found a job with the help of Valley Youth House counselors.  

 

Newly employed, she was accepted in Supportive Housing in the fall of 2008 and now rents a small house in Easton.  With housing and employment arranged Jen began to work with counselor Diane Dieter to develop a plan to keep herself and her family on their feet and self -sufficient.  

 

Financial counseling was made available, and when her son Jonathan was admitted to children’s Hospital because of cardiac health issues, the Valley Youth House counselors helped Jen and older daughter Caitlyn deal with Jonathan’s illness. Jen, Caitlyn, and Jonathan are now doing well.  Jen is working on receiving her Nurse Assistant certification and wants to resume the health care career that was interrupted several years ago.  The road ahead might still be bumpy, but Jen is confident that she and her family are now on the path to a brighter future.  

 

Jeffrey

The huffing started in the sixth grade. Jeffrey didn’t understand that he was placing his health and well being at risk; he simply knew that he liked the high he experienced.  By the seventh grade he was running with an older crowd, and his grades and a promising football career were out the window as he graduated to first marijuana, and then stronger drugs.  

 

A spiral had started that would land Jeff in Juvenile Detention, and eventually in a secured facility in central Pennsylvania.  Jeff touched bottom at Loysville, absorbed the lessons the counselors taught and left the facility, he felt, clean and with resolve to stay that way, but now he faced the task of reintegrating in the same community where his downward spiral had started.  His parents, Brent and Pat, had tried to do the right thing for their son, but were overwhelmed. What had they done wrong? How would Jeff reintegrate in the community?  Could they trust their son?  What if he returned to his old ways?

 

Jeff left Loysville with a detailed plan to stay on the right path. Unfortunately they did not have either the insurance or the resources to pay for much of the recommended counseling.  Despite those issues, Valley Youth House Functional Family Therapy counselor Michael Ramsey began to work with the family on the reintegration and improving family function.  “Mike taught us that we can’t let our fear of failure drive us,” says Pat.  The family worked on opening communication, honesty, and problem solving as a family.  As family dynamics have improved, so has Pat and Brent’s ability to walk the tightrope of trusting Jeff while still providing appropriate parenting.  

 

Jeff is now doing well in school and receives excellent job performance ratings at his parttime employment.  He loves mechanical things, and plans to find work after high school as a mechanic.  Brent, Pat, and Jeff all give credit to Mike Ramsey for the help he has given them in learning to once again be a happy family.