TOM, LISA, & KYLIE

 They were Kylie’s friends.  They were always there for her,

 or so it seemed.  They were also gang members.  As a

 result of those friendships seventeen-year old Kylie found 

 herself facing felony charges for driving a stolen car.  Big

 trouble for a girl that had never been in trouble before.

 Kylie’s parents Tom and Lisa were distraught.  What had 

 they done wrong?  They thought they were good parents, 

 who had taught their kids right from wrong.  They were an

 intact, middle class family with good jobs.  This nightmare was not supposed to be happening:  They couldn’t have a kid in jail.  Lisa says that the stress, guilt and grief she felt seemed overwhelming.

The felony charge was reduced to a misdemeanor with the promise of a suspended sentence on the condition that Kylie meet four conditions:  Reenroll in school (she had dropped out in May of her junior year because she had better things to do), find a job, perform community service, and undergo counseling. 

When Lisa began looking for a counseling program, she was skeptical.  The family had received counseling previously, and Lisa had viewed it as ineffective.  But many she talked to recommended Valley Youth House, and she was soon in touch with Functional Family Therapy Counseling Program’s Josh Snyder.

Josh engaged the entire family in their sessions.  He helped all the family members learn to communicate better, and confront issues.  They also learned to support each other, and gave each family member specific tasks they should do to provide support.  Most of all, he challenged Kylie:  She had to make choices.  She could go down the wrong path if she chose, but she could be more than that, but it was up to her.  He also helped the parents by making them realize that just as they could not claim credit for all their children’s successes, they could not shoulder all the blame for their failings.

Armed with the tools that Josh helped them develop the family began to communicate better, and the cloud they had been under began to lift.

Today Kylie is back in high school.  Her grades are much better than before, and she has fulfilled the court’s other requirements.  Fortunately, most of her old friends are no longer at the school, and she changed the group she hangs out with.  The counseling sessions have ended, but Josh stays in touch.  “Josh is the best,” says Lisa.  “I know that if we have a problem, he will always respond.”

Lisa has another message:  There is no shame in reaching out for help when you need it, and many of who never think they will require help will find that they do.

Kylie is now planning her future, and is determined to stay on the right track.  She knows that her future is up to her, and to the choices she makes. 

DANIELLE

 Sixteen and Pregnant may be a successful “reality” program,

 but Danielle Waltz has experienced reality, and she can tell

 you that being sixteen and pregnant involves a series of

 agonizingly painful choices. The decision to bear a child,

 and then to give it up for adoption, Danielle knows, changed

 her life forever. 

 Danielle had lived in a trailer in Florida with her mother, and

 older sisters and brother until she was seven.  At that time her mother abandoned the family and raising the family fell to her brother, still in his teens.  Because brother Joshua took the responsibility for Danielle and her sisters, both of whom are mentally disabled, Joshua remains her hero. 

Danielle had won a scholarship to a private school and liked the life she had in Florida, but when she was fourteen her mother decided that she wanted the girls back, and they had no choice but to move to Pennsylvania to be with their mom.  Unfortunately, mom was evicted from her apartment shortly after the sisters moved in, and Danielle and her sisters were placed in care.

While in foster care another foster youth staying at the same home forced himself on Danielle.  She didn’t know what to do, and he told her that if she reported the offense she would be kicked out of foster care and have nowhere to go.  Fearful,  she kept quiet, and stayed at the placement until she could take it no longer and decided to move back with her mom, who by than had found an apartment.

Shortly after moving back, she discovered that she was pregnant, and faced with an agonizing choice.  She made an appointment to have an abortion, but left the clinic crying; she could not do it.  Danielle eventually gave birth to a healthy son Joshua, and as she held the baby in the hospital she felt certain that she could not give the baby up.  But over the next months the realities of single motherhood became apparent, and she realized that she was in no position to give Joshua a good life.  She decided that she should give up her son to a couple that she knew from her church.

After she made the decision, she cried herself to sleep for many nights, but she gradually came to accept her decision.  Now, when she sees the boy happy and doing well with his adoptive parents, she knows that she has done the right thing.

But 16-year old Danielle was still in a bad place.  Living with mom was not working, so she bounced among the homes of friends.  She knew one thing: she did not want to go back into foster care. After years of instability, she was accepted into the Valley Youth House Independent Living Program.  The first thing the counselors did was fill in some of the gaps in her record.  She did not have a birth certificate or social security card, had never been to a dentist, and did not know that she qualified for medical assistance.

The counselors helped her acquired the supports she needed, helping  in finding work, navigating the college application process, and finding an apartment of her own.  Life is still not easy.  She holds a full time job and two part-time ones, and attends the community college.  She also arranged care for her sisters, and checks on them every day.  But now Danielle has a life plan, and is working to achieve her goals of completing her education and having a successful career.  She says that after many years of instability, Valley Youth House has been a rock.  And to the counselors at Valley Youth House, Danielle’s story is truly an inspiration.

 

The Millers

 TAWNY—and her husband Christopher both served in the  

 Marine Corps. As Marines, they often heard that being a

 Marine was the hardest job they would ever have. Tawny

 believed that. Until her son Jack was two and they

 confronted the reality of raising a non-verbal autistic child.

 Like most parents in their situation, they knew little about 

 autism when Jack was born, and had to become educated about the challenges they would face. They learned that no two autistic children are the same, and that there were no cookbook recipes for raising their son. They also came to understand that autism was not something that could be “fixed,” but that it could be managed. Tawny did not consider herself to be a patient person, but she had to learn to become patient.

In steering the way through the maze they encountered they have been helped for the last four years by the Valley Youth House team of Therapeutic Staff Support and Case Manager Barb Brown and Behavior Specialist Consultant Josie Ferriera-Garcia. With the help of the Valley Youth House team the Millers began an applied behavioral analysis program, helping Jack learn fine motor skills and social skills that were not easily developed. He is also learning receptive and expressive language skills and anger management through behavior modification so when Jack is unable to communicate, he doesn’t resort to hurting himself or others.

Repetitive learning exercises helped Jack learn skills like waving good-bye or pulling up his pants. “These skills are not a big deal to most kids,” says Tawny, “but they are a big deal to him.”

Tawny appreciates the patience of Barb and Josi, and the fact they are willing to continually search for answers to difficult problems. They are always willing to take the time to search for the answer to the question “What is best for Jack.”

The Millers have also found that parents of autistic children must be advocates for their child, and Valley Youth House has been an important resource in helping them be more effective advocates for Jack. Every day is Autism Awareness Day for Tawny and Christopher.

Tawny’s hopes for her son include that Jack will be happy and at peace. She hopes that someday he will speak to her. And she will continue the patient work of helping him grow and learn a little bit more each day.

 

DAVID

knew there was trouble when there was no money for food. 15-year old David asked his mother what the problem was, but her answers were evasive. In time the truth became clear: His mother was spending the family’s money on drugs. Angry, he confronted her, and after the resulting blow-up left the home. David tried to live with other family members, but that did not work out. He eventually resorted to “couch surfing,” moving from one home to another, wherever he could find a place to sleep, and showering at his school.

Eventually a teacher overheard the homeless youth discussing his plight with a friend, and realized that David needed help. David was referred to the Valley Youth House Lehigh Valley Shelter, where he lived for several months. He came to the Shelter, he admits now, a shy but angry young man. But he now had a safe place to stay, and the support of the Valley Youth House counselors, who worked with him on managing his feelings, and helping him learn the skills he would need to live on his own.

After an extended stay at the Shelter, David moved into an Independent Living Program. In addition to stable housing and an allowance for necessities, David continued to receive counseling and help with developing life skills. He worked part time at Wegman’s and attended Freedom High School. David’s Independent Living Apartment was in the area served by Liberty, but it was thought best that he remain in the same school. As a result he would catch a bus from near the Shelter to Freedom each morning.

David did well at Freedom academically, and was accepted at Moravian College. At Moravian he has flourished. He is now completing his senior year as a Psychology major. He will graduate this spring and continue his education next year at Lehigh, pursuing a masters. While at Moravian he has worked as a Resident Advisor, and has been assisting Dr. Dana Dunn with research on a new book on social psychology. This spring he is also doing an internship at the Lehigh Valley Shelter, where he feels he is particularly well positioned to provide counsel to the youth that come to the Shelter.

Completing his education has not been a cakewalk. He continues to work at Wegman’s, a still faces the issue of finding a place to live when the school’s dormitories are closed. Fortunately, friends have given him a place to say. His mother has now completed rehabilitation, and mother and son have begun a process of reconciliation of their relationship.

David’s achievements in the face of daunting odds are remarkable. As he looks back, he can reflect on how far he has come and what he has accomplished. As he looks forward to a future as a research psychologist, he also reflects on the progress he has made as a person, from a withdrawn and angry youth to a mature and outgoing adult. All of us at Valley Youth House are proud on this remarkable young man.

 

Jennifer

Jennifer ever thought that she would find herself living in a homeless shelter, but then her marriage of ten years fell apart.  As a single mom, she found herself unable to deal with the stresses of marital discord and raising two children with ADHD diagnosis.  

Jen admits that she “fell flat on her face” in dealing with the situation and a downward spiral began. She became unemployed, and eventually lost her home.  Jen and the children tried living with family members, but that didn’t work out, and with no place else to go the family became residents of the Third Street Alliance for Women and Children shelter in early 2008.  By summer she had learned of Valley Youth House’s Supportive Housing Program for Homeless Families.  The program offers rent subsidies to participants, counseling in budgeting, and the development of skills that families need to avoid a return to the street.  To be accepted in the program, participants must be employed, and Jen met that requirement when she found a job with the help of Valley Youth House counselors.  

Newly employed, she was accepted in Supportive Housing in the fall of 2008 and now rents a small house in Easton.  With housing and employment arranged Jen began to work with counselor Diane Dieter to develop a plan to keep herself and her family on their feet and self -sufficient.  

Financial counseling was made available, and when her son Jonathan was admitted to children’s Hospital because of cardiac health issues, the Valley Youth House counselors helped Jen and older daughter Caitlyn deal with Jonathan’s illness. Jen, Caitlyn, and Jonathan are now doing well.  Jen is working on receiving her Nurse Assistant certification and wants to resume the health care career that was interrupted several years ago.  The road ahead might still be bumpy, but Jen is confident that she and her family are now on the path to a brighter future.  

 

Jeffrey

The huffing started in the sixth grade. Jeffrey didn’t understand that he was placing his health and well being at risk; he simply knew that he liked the high he experienced.  By the seventh grade he was running with an older crowd, and his grades and a promising football career were out the window as he graduated to first marijuana, and then stronger drugs.  

A spiral had started that would land Jeff in Juvenile Detention, and eventually in a secured facility in central Pennsylvania.  Jeff touched bottom at Loysville, absorbed the lessons the counselors taught and left the facility, he felt, clean and with resolve to stay that way, but now he faced the task of reintegrating in the same community where his downward spiral had started.  His parents, Brent and Pat, had tried to do the right thing for their son, but were overwhelmed. What had they done wrong? How would Jeff reintegrate in the community?  Could they trust their son?  What if he returned to his old ways?

Jeff left Loysville with a detailed plan to stay on the right path. Unfortunately they did not have either the insurance or the resources to pay for much of the recommended counseling.  Despite those issues, Valley Youth House Functional Family Therapy counselor Michael Ramsey began to work with the family on the reintegration and improving family function.  “Mike taught us that we can’t let our fear of failure drive us,” says Pat.  The family worked on opening communication, honesty, and problem solving as a family.  As family dynamics have improved, so has Pat and Brent’s ability to walk the tightrope of trusting Jeff while still providing appropriate parenting.  

Jeff is now doing well in school and receives excellent job performance ratings at his parttime employment.  He loves mechanical things, and plans to find work after high school as a mechanic.  Brent, Pat, and Jeff all give credit to Mike Ramsey for the help he has given them in learning to once again be a happy family.